The Dark Crystal Ball 2018 & 2019

Okay, so I know it’s been a while since I last posted. I’ve been quite busy living a nomadic life, but I’ve finally settled back down in Tampa, FL.

One benefit to moving all over the place is taking in all the sights. It’s sort of like an extended vacation where you get to be a tourist in your own city. Last year, I was living in Midtown Atlanta, GA for a few months and was ecstatic to see that The Center for Puppetry Arts was throwing a Dark Crystal Ball. Of course, I had to go in celebration of my favorite film of all time. I only had two days to put together a costume, but I was able to commit myself entirely to it.

A few trips to the local Goodwill, costume stores, and craft store provided me with ample materials for my costume. The biggest score was a pair of Tinkerbell wings for 99 cents and a bag of mixed fabrics for stupid cheap. I was able to reshape the wings and cover them with the fabric so they looked more like Kira’s. My boyfriend, Jared, even helped me with the spray adhesive when it got down to the wire. I then doctored-up a Doctor Doom costume with some scissors, safety pins, fabric glue, and a some embroidery from a thrift store pillow. Of course, I already had some elf ears. Add to that some old hippie clothes and makeshift arm and leg gauntlets (made out of a bubble shirt! remember those?), and I was a bona fied Gelfling.

I cut my bangs the day before to look more like the lovely Kira.

I cut my bangs the day before to look more like the lovely Kira.

Going to the event the first time was such a last-minute decision. My dad suggested I get business cards for Fanciful Quill and pass them around, so that’s what I did. Unfortunately, picking them up made me unfashionably late for the ball, so I missed the costume contest and the raising of the crystal; but I don’t think I would have had a chance anyway, as the other costumes were out-of-this-world fantastic. If you see yourself in any of these pictures and want to be credited, please let me know! They aren’t all the best quality, but it’s my mom who’s the photographer of my family.

I met Jareth , the Goblin King!

I met Jareth , the Goblin King!

I finally got to meet the missus.

I finally got to meet the missus.

This is a next-level Podling cosplay.

This is a next-level Podling cosplay.

I loved this whole look. Gorgeous!

I loved this whole look. Gorgeous!

What a lovely Ornamentalist-inspired headdress!

What a lovely Ornamentalist-inspired headdress!

I was most impressed by the mechanization of this piece.

I was most impressed by the mechanization of this piece.

I didn't think it was possible to make Kira more fabulous, but this lady did just that.

I didn’t think it was possible to make Kira more fabulous, but this lady did just that.

Brian Henson hanging with an urSkek and a Garthim.

Brian Henson hanging with an urSkek and a Garthim.

If I recall correctly, this couple costume won in 2018.

If I recall correctly, this couple costume won in 2018.

The original landstrider costumes were complicated, and the gal in this one replicated two of them.

The original landstrider costumes were complicated, and the gal in this one replicated two of them.

Kendall Bailey, Ritual Master. She had a cool mask to go with it.

Kendall Bailey, Ritual Master and goddess of cosplay. She had a cool mask as part of the costume, but the photo I took came out too blurry.

I've been meaning to put this design on everything.

I’ve been meaning to put this design on everything.

It's Aughra!

It’s Aughra!

This costume was my favorite for its simplicity.

This costume was my favorite for its simplicity.

"We are lords of the crystal."

“We are lords of the crystal.”

This one is from 2019. Rebekah Cox and John McDonald are cosplay couple goals.

This one is from 2019. Rebekah Cox and John McDonald are cosplay couple goals.

I was also astounded by the opulence of the decor as well as the array of refreshments. There were several Dark Crystal replicas at the event, and they were all great for photo opportunities. The Center For Puppetry Arts really outdid themselves.

I snapped this photograph as a first impression when I walked into the event.

I snapped this photograph as a first impression when I walked into the event.

A  feast fit for a skeksis.

A feast fit for a skeksis.

The woman who makes these cakes is insanely talented.

The woman who makes these cakes is insanely talented.

The Baker with her breathtaking creation. That Aughra is a cake if you can believe it.

The Baker with her breathtaking creation. That Aughra is a cake if you can believe it.

I'm skeksi, and I know it.

I’m skeksi, and I know it. I’ll see myself out now…

My favorite thing about the event is getting to meet like-minded people who enjoy the Hensons and Frouds’ work as much as I do. I have made some lasting friendships while attending The Dark Crystal Ball.

Here's my friend, Theresa. We met while looking at the Dark Crystal exhibit they have at The Center.

Here’s my friend, Theresa. We met while looking at the Dark Crystal exhibit they have at The Center.

Theresa and I have gone together to the past two Dragon Cons and Center for Puppetry Arts Balls. I’m a bit of an introvert, and I’m not sure I would’ve done all this cool stuff if it weren’t for her encouragement.

Theresa and I at Dragon Con 2019

Theresa and I at Dragon Con 2019

This year, I was also able to meet a fellow member of one of my Dark Crystal Facebook fan groups. Jen Eversole took lots of pictures; which was so nice, because I overestimated the number of free hands I’d have once the flower puppet and the beverages came into play.

Jen and I after meeting for the first time. She looks more like a Kira than a Jen.

Jen and I after meeting for the first time. She looks more like a Kira than a Jen.

Good Morning, Jimmy!

Good Morning, Jimmy!

The exhibit itself is worth the trip to The Center for Puppetry Arts. I believe it is going to remain there until January 2020, so definitely go see it if you get the chance. Unfortunately, this year, I was so invested in ensuring that my costume did not fall apart (more on that later), that I did not take many pictures of it.

"Another world, another time, in the age of wonder."

“Another world, another time, in the age of wonder.”

The Garthim Master, skekUng, with his epic sword and some podlings.

The Garthim Master, skekUng, with his epic sword and some podlings.

Our Hero, Jen.

Our Hero, Jen.

Oh my Thra, would you look at this neat stuff.

Oh my Thra, would you look at this neat stuff.

A wise and gentle Mystic.

A wise and gentle Mystic.

How many opportunities do you have to share a beer with a podling?

How many opportunities do you have to share a beer with a podling?

The Dark Crystal is lit. I'll see myself out now...

The Dark Crystal is lit! Published titles include the winner of the Author Quest that I also entered.

Pieces from the winners of The Dark Crystal Fan Film Challenge.

Pieces from the winners of The Dark Crystal Fan Film Challenge that happened when I was living under a rock, a.k.a., Rochester, NY.

She's a thing of beauty.

She’s a thing of beauty.

Podlings are quite stylish.

Podlings are quite stylish.

This landstrider must've been decapitated by a garthim.

This landstrider must’ve been decapitated by a garthim.

This piece is adorable.

This piece is adorable.

He's right behind me, isn't he?

He’s right behind me, isn’t he?

Another perk of The Dark Crystal Ball is getting to meet some of my heroes and also learning about other talented people to admire and hopefully someday emulate.

Theresa was kind enough to introduce me to the legendary Kirk Thatcher.

Theresa was kind enough to introduce me to the legendary Kirk Thatcher.

And Kirk was cordial enough to introduce me to Brian Henson. This is after the Dinosaurs Panel at Dragon Con 2018.

And Kirk was cordial enough to introduce me to Brian Henson. This is after the Dinosaurs Panel at Dragon Con 2018.

I got to meet the ultra-skilled Alice Dinnean at this year's ball.

I got to meet the ultra-skilled Alice Dinnean at this year’s ball. She’s such a treasure and a wonderful artist as well as person.

And Alice was generous enough to introduce me to Peter Linz.

And Alice was generous enough to introduce me to Peter Linz of Tutter, Walter, and Ernie fame.

Dabchick introduced himself to me.

YouTube-famous Dabchick introduced himself to me.

And Barnaby Dixon said he wouldn't change a thing about the flower hand puppet I made.

Barnaby Dixon said he wouldn’t change a thing about the flower hand puppet I made, a huge compliment for this novice puppet builder.

And of course there's Bob and Carl of The Late Night Puppet Slam.

And of course there’s Bob and Carl of The Late Night Puppet Slam.

I'm so glad I worked up the courage to speak with Peter Brooke, because he is such a delight.

I’m so glad I worked up the courage to speak with Peter Brooke, because he is such a delight.

Which brings me to the piece de resistance: my costume for this year. I spent one month conceptualizing it and one month building it. I knew I wanted to look like a Gelfling going to a ball, because I was so inspired by all the gowns from 2018. I also was inspired by the aesthetic in the trailers that were coming out for the much-anticipated new show The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance. Anyone who knows me, knows that I’ve been waiting to return to Thra for most of my life. All that anticipation made me pretty grumpy, and I’m afraid I came across as whiny when I wrote about it five years ago. I really need to learn not to bite the hand that feeds, especially after now knowing about how difficult the creative process can be in this corporate world.

Anyway, after pausing each trailers half a million times my costume needed to have some elements of the Caves of Grot, and I had to have that gorgeous Sanctuary Tree flower. I asked myself if I could personify Deet and the Sanctuary tree becoming one, as it was in her vision scenes that were giving me Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire weirwood vibes.

A very rough sketch of my Sanctuary Tree concept design.

A very rough sketch of my Sanctuary Tree concept design.

I bought a sewing machine thinking I could quickly learn to sew a ball gown from scratch (ha!), but someone wiser than me said I’d be better off just altering an old dress from the thrift store. The hardest part was finding all the materials on the cheap while still keeping with my original design. Another struggle was having no idea what I was doing and just winging it. I probably spent too much time on things that would never be seen like painting and detailing my heels as well as hand-dying the secondhand wedding petticoat. Sponge-painting the skirt to the dress was necessary; because it had a huge stain, and I wanted it to look like the walls of a Grottan cave. Adversely, safety-pinning the LED lights onto the inside of one of the layers of the skirt turned out to be the easiest thing ever.

Just a trunk, twinkly cave walls, and a flashing flower at this point.

Just a trunk, twinkly cave walls, and a sparse flashing flower at this point.

For the supersized Grottan flower, I purchased a pair of turquoise gloves to adhere the petals to, but I found it would not look elegant enough with my sewing skills or lack thereof. I ditched that idea and just threaded each flower layer through the squishy flashing LED ring I had bought for the center of the flower. I then glued fishing line loops to the back of the petals closest to my thumb and pinky finger. Like the original, feathers added some nice sympathetic movement.

A Goodwill Outlet bin pillow can be lovely petals once layered with several sheets of thick aluminum foil and spray adhesive.

A Goodwill Outlet bin pillow can be lovely petals once layered with several sheets of thick aluminum foil and spray adhesive.

I tried to detangle and restyle an old Daenarys Targaryen wig that I had lent out to friends, but she was unsalvageable. Running out of time and money, I was distraught that my vision may not become fully-realized. Luckily, my mom pointed out that I did not have to be both Deet and the Sanctuary Tree, I could just use the K.I.S.S. method and be the tree. Then, there was a eureka moment when a fellow fan pointed out to me that the tree has pink leaves once out of the caves. I had an old Nurse Joy wig from a previous costume that was salvageable after some fabric softener. I curled the wig with dollar store foam curlers and set it in boiling water. I brushed it out, and voila! Mr. Brightside video girl realness. It ended up being the most talked-about piece in my costume, so never underestimate the power of a well-styled wig.

"Open up my eager eyes." Anyone else remember that iconic music video?

“Open up my eager eyes.” Anyone else remember that iconic music video?

I bought a fake vine plant from Goodwill for $4, cut, and painted it for my branches.

I bought a fake vine plant from Goodwill for $4, cut, and painted it for my branches.

I hand-strung these flowers and feathers and then painted them to look more cohesive. They were added to the bodice and wig.

I hand-strung these flowers and feathers and then painted them to look more cohesive. They were added to the bodice and wig.

That wise person I was talking about suggested I make the roots for the cage skirt out of pool noodles. Lo and behold, that’s a thing. I found a very useful YouTube tutorial on making pool noodle roots, albeit for Halloween decor. I did not think about how they would attach to the dress nor how they’d hold up whilst wearing them. Still, I now know how to “corpse” using foam, shrink wrap, and a heat gun.

Roots like puzzle pieces.

Roots like puzzle pieces. Please don’t judge my messy work space.

It looks like I killed a Kraken.

It looks like I killed a Kraken.

The top coat of paint and the fake moss was applied the morning of the ball.

The top coat of paint and the fake moss was applied the morning of the ball.

Unfortunately, this is the only picture I have of the dress before my butt uprooted it.

Unfortunately, this is the only picture I have of the dress before my butt uprooted it.

It took me like two days to make the roots and figure out how to adhere them, and it took two minutes of sitting in my taxi on the way to the ball for all but the front root to rip off the dress completely. It didn’t help that I never use Uber or Lyft, so I had to chase down my taxi in the Georgia heat. Shout out to the kind stranger, Beth of Roswell, whose daughter cosplays, so she had the heart to pick up a dismayed weirdo dressed like Marie Antoinette in August. She helped me find another taxi and kept me from ruining my makeup with a nervous breakdown. Had I known then what I know now, I would have changed into the dress once I got to the venue.

Me placing third in the costume contest. Photo Credit: Chris Hunt

Me placing third in the costume contest. Photo Credit: Chris Hunt

All the finalists in the costume contest. Photo Credit: Chris Hunt

All the finalists in the costume contest. Photo Credit: Chris Hunt

Look at all that charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

Look at all that charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent.

Going to the event, I was worried no one would know what I was, seeing as the trailers for the new show had just come out, and my character was a new introduction to the world of The Dark Crystal. It turned out that was the judges’ favorite aspect. Artists who worked on the show knew who I was right away and were also skeptical as to how I could have pulled out an elaborate costume from a few seconds on a total of three short trailers. I guess being somewhat obsessive can pay off sometimes. Attached pool noodle tree roots or no, I did still manage to miraculously nab third place and get a sweet swag bag full of Dark Crystal stuff. I’d say the blood, sweat, tears, and couple months’-worth of concerned looks from friends and family were all worth it.

Some of my Dark Crystal Swag. The signed Brian Froud piece made me happy cry a little.

Some of my Dark Crystal Swag. The signed Brian Froud piece made me happy cry a little.

I appreciate all the talent I met who so graciously signed my playing cards. That J.M. Lee book is also signed!

I appreciate all the talent I met who so graciously signed my playing cards. That J.M. Lee book is also signed!

Sorry if combining both events into one post is confusing, but I have been putting off posting this for too long while I try to figure out what I’m doing with my life. For now, I’m going to try my hand at puppetry. I’m still also flirting with the idea of a YouTube channel, so stay posted you patient readers.

I’m just so honored to have been a part of The Center for Puppetry Arts Dark Crystal Ball both years. These people and events made me realize how I need to start nurturing my creative side. I mean, how often do you get to do The Time Warp with members of The Jim Henson Company? I can’t wait to do it again when I return to Dragon Con next year to see what the Beau Brown and the rest of the Dragon Con Puppetry Track has in store. I already have my weekend pass and hotel room booked. What are you waiting for?

Ode to the Pixie Cut

Hello! It’s been a bit, but I hope everyone had an excellent holiday season. 2015 is here, and I’m very excited to see what it brings considering how monumental 2014 was for me. For one, I started this blog in 2014, so I expect that year will be dear to my heart for a long time. Since everyone likes to start off fresh for the new year, I thought I’d post about a recent transformation I’ve undergone: As you can see from the above photo, I finally have a pixie cut.

A few facts about the pixie cut:

The pixie cut was first popularized by actresses Audrey Hepburn and Jean Seberg in the 1950’s.

Jean went with the pixie for the ultimate girl-power role: Joan of Arc

Jean went with the pixie for the ultimate girl-power role: Joan of Arc

All the most fashionable ladies in the fifties wanted Audrey's "Roman Holiday" look.

All the most fashionable ladies in the fifties wanted Audrey’s “Roman Holiday” look.

The trend continued into the 1960’s with models like Twiggy and Goldie Hawn as well as actress Mia Farrow (a.k.a. the voice of The Last Unicorn).

Clockwise from left: Goldie Hawn, Mia Farrow,   and Twiggy

Clockwise from left: Goldie Hawn, Mia Farrow, and Twiggy

The pixie cut also gets its name from the mythological creature of the same name. Many people confuse pixies with faeries and use the terms interchangeably; however pixies and faeries have been historically portrayed as two different species that are often at war with one another. Faeries are more human-like while pixies often have otherworldly colored skin and hair as well as strange facial features. Pixies are also two inches smaller than faeries, and they prefer to cause mischief rather than bestow kindness upon everyone. Both species have wings, which is likely where the confusion stems from. Pixies are usually depicted as androgynous with short hair (hence the name of the modern pixie cut), whereas the difference in appearance between male and female faeries is clear.

Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell, everyone's favorite pixie.

Julia Roberts as Tinkerbell, everyone’s favorite pixie.

Having a pixie cut is not a first for me. I had a pixie cut in high school when I modeled hair for a hair salon. Here’s me giving my signature “blue steel”:

Hair and Makeup by LA Gallery, Photo by Amy Martz

Hair and Makeup by LA Gallery, Photo by Amy Martz

Actually, this hairstyle is one of the reasons I was not accepted onto my high school’s soccer team. It was too “wild” for the coach. Also, it got me the back row of my high school chorus. My parents weren’t fans of it either, but guess what?

I LOVED it. I really felt this unique hairstyle matched my eccentric personality. Finally I felt like me, and that confidence showed.

Still, as the years went on, I stopped volunteering my head at the local salon, I moved away to college, and I let my hair grow. And grow it did.

Here’s a picture of it at its longest:

I think I look sort of witchy here, don't you?

I think I look sort of witchy here, don’t you?

Then I got into Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire. Like REALLY into it. I still am, and it’s sort of an obsession.

Naturally, Daenarys Stormborn became my favorite character with her underdog story, her unsurpassed beauty, and her kind nature. Plus she has dragons, and dragons are awesome.

Daeny is not to be messed with.

Daeny is not to be messed with.

I wanted my hair to look just like hers, so I said, “Bring on the peroxide!”

I think I got pretty close too:

Me giving my best apathetic Daenarys face.

Me giving my best apathetic Daenarys face.

Unfortunately, I became a Targaryen loyalist before I could finish all of the books. Not to spoil anything, but Daeny kind of gets on my nerves now. She’s acting more and more like a spoiled child, and I just don’t abide. Granted, she’s only sixteen years old by the end of A Dance with Dragons; so I guess I can understand her immaturity. But poor Sir Jorah… and her dragons! Isn’t that animal abuse? Just saying…

Enter my new favorite super-blonde GOT character: Brienne of Tarth.

Forgetting completely about his twin sister, Jaime stares longingly at the noble Brienne.

Forgetting completely about his twin sister, Jaime stares longingly at the noble Brienne.

This sword-wielding and honorable dame is the epitome of a well-rounded female character. As strong as she is beautiful (although she is mockingly called “Brienne the Beauty” due to her masculine features and height, Jaime Lannister notices her striking blue eyes), she fights for the most noble causes (rescuing the Stark girls) and practically transforms the character who behaved the most selfishly in the beginning of the series (Jaime). There is a joke that the relationship between Jaime and Brienne is “still a better love story than Twilight,” and I completely agree.

Of course, I love Arya Stark as much as the next person, but I’m wary of loving her too much; because she seems to be slowly creeping into crazy territory (although who could blame her after all she’s been through).

Stick 'em with the pointy end, Arya.

Stick ’em with the pointy end, Arya.

These leading ladies have two commonalities: their affinity for swords and pixie cuts.

And so I figured they were onto something. I don’t think I’ll take up fencing anytime soon, but what’s so great about the pixie cut? How is it superior to flowy princess locks?

One compound word: LOW-MAINTENANCE.

Whether you’re sword fighting in the back roads of Westeros or training for a half-marathon in snowy Rochester (which I am, by the way), you can’t let the daily cycle of wash-condition-detangle-dry-style-and-repeat keep you down. With a pixie, the daily routine shortens to only styling, while the dreaded hair cycle occurs maybe twice a week (which is better for hair health as well). Of course, to maintain a pixie length, more trips to the salon need to be taken, but that’s a relaxing habit I’m fine with repeating.

The way I see it, there are all these things I want to accomplish this year, none of which include winning any beauty contests (although the pixie can be incredibly demure and flattering). To me, the pixie is a representation that I am finally getting my priorities in order. I’d rather spend an hour on my novel than an hour on my hair any day. But guess what? I get more compliments on my pixie cut than I ever did on my unicorn hair.

Not to mention, the pixie is incredibly current and surprisingly versatile. This graphic shows how celebrities dress their pixies up or down:

Credit: www.dailymakeover.com

Credit: www.dailymakeover.com

I’ve had a lot of women tell me they couldn’t pull off a short cut. That’s just not true, because there’s a short cut for every face shape and hair texture. You just need to do your homework. If you’re unsure, just get a consultation with a trusted stylist. Tell her you’re interested in a pixie-style cut, but also bring pictures of cuts you like. Then ask the stylist if one of styles would work with your face shape and hair texture. She may even help you identify what kind of face shape you have as well as give you some styling tips. Most importantly: be brave, and have fun.

Fancifully Yours,

Jess

Jim Henson Co. I Love You, But…

You’re bringing me down.

If you don’t know the song I’m quoting, it’s by LCD Sound System and called “New York I Love You, But You’re Bringing Me Down”. It’s expertly written, and it’s likely one of my most favorite songs right now. I love the combination of adoration and resentment the lyrics provide.

That said, I had no idea the official music video for this song features none other than a knockoff version of Jim Henson’s Kermit the Frog:

Poor Kermit, right? New York is obviously full of disappointment for him.

Now, let’s turn the tables. I’m Kermit, and The Jim Henson Company is New York. Hence, the title of this post. (I actually made the title for this post before I even looked it up. Sometimes, I just get it right.)

Don’t get me wrong, I love The Jim Henson Company, probably more than any adult should.

I grew up on the street. Sesame Street, that is 🙂 Fraggle Rock and Dinosaurs soon followed. Then, when I got too old for those, there was always The Muppets.

Red from Fraggle Rock was my childhood idol.

Red from Fraggle Rock was my childhood idol.

But it’s the films I really love. I’m not talking the Muppet Movies, although I do love me some Tim Curry as Long John Silver in Muppet Treasure Island.

You mewling little lily-livered, toffee-hearted little wuss of a crustacean!

No, I’m talking The Dark Crystal (1982) and Labyrinth (1986), the brainchildren of the actual Jim Henson and the greatest faerie-enthusiasts ever to walk the earth, Wendy and Brian Froud. I’ll likely devote a completely separate post to the Frouds, so check back if you’re interested in learning more about this dynamic duo.

Like I’ve said before, my obsession with The Dark Crystal runs deep. As a child, it both fascinated and terrified me. As an adult, I have been able to appreciate the high level of artistry and commitment the film clearly exhibits. Absolutely no humans star in the film, yet it manages to grip viewers with its expertly-designed sets and puppets as well as its story that turns out to be more philosophical lesson than breath-taking adventure (although it is quite an adventure). The world of The Dark Crystal is truly a gem:

How about that soundtrack? Trevor Jones is a genius.

I have read all the books inspired by the film, with the exception of A.C.H. Smith’s novel that is no longer in print. I’m remedying this soon. Tokyopop’s The Legends of the Dark Crystal is the first Manga series I have ever read. I thoroughly enjoyed it and even gave the first two as a gift to my nephew who loves The Dark Crystal almost as much as I do. Unfortunately when he asked for the third volume in the trilogy, I had to tell him none such volume will ever exist, because it had been cancelled.

Such was my first disappointment with The Company, as I will refer to them from now on for efficiency.

In 2010, when I heard a film sequel was in the making for The Dark Crystal, I could not have been happier. Finally, I thought, I get to see more of this spectacular world. I closely followed the news of the purported sequel The Power of the Dark Crystal for years. The Company released storyboards, team-members, and images. As new developments came out, I shared them with my nephew.

Art of Queen Kira released to promote The Power of the Dark Crystal

Art of Queen Kira released to promote The Power of the Dark Crystal

Then, in 2012, The Company broke our hearts. After several announcement the project had been put on hiatus, it was cancelled.

This, after I suffered through the The Muppets (2011), which, wasn’t all bad, but wasn’t all good either. I’m not sure how it got a 96% on Rotten Tomatoes. Maybe I’m just bitter this project came out before The Power of the Dark Crystal, but the story line bored me. I did like the introduction of Walter. I see a little of myself in him. Perhaps Disney is to blame, but I recall only ever laughing during Chris Cooper’s “maniacal laugh” bit:

Strike two, The Company.

A year ago, I decided to enter in The Company’s “Author Quest” for a prequel to The Dark Crystal, a.k.a. their way of making up for having cancelled the second film. I was one of over 500 writers to submit a book proposal. I didn’t make the top 20, but the top five winners are currently working with the Penguin Book Company to determine who will get $10,000 and a book publishing deal. The samples of the five authors are available here. I haven’t finished reading them yet, but so far I’m smitten. I don’t know how they’re going to pick just one author.

This book proposal was my first-ever, so it was pretty easy for me to forgive The Company for not seeing much potential in it. Additionally, judging by the selected authors’ bios, most of them are more experienced than I am in writing.

Still, this was the third and most personal “offense” made by The Company.

Now let’s talk about what spurred this post. Remember how I mentioned Labyrinth? Yeah, I love this film almost as much as I adore The Dark Crystal. After all, it’s got 15-year-old Jennifer Connelly plus the work of the Frouds and Jim Henson. I think the combination of David Bowie’s codpiece and George Lucas’ influence makes the film not as focused as The Dark Crystal, but that’s probably not a very popular opinion to have. Bowie’s musical numbers are still pretty fun though:

Well, turns out Labyrinth is still a huge hit. I think the star-power is to blame. After all, unlike The Dark Crystal, this film has humans in it, not to mention humans who still manage to walk the red carpet noticed. Variety thought it’d be cute to falsely report that a Labyrinth sequel was in the works. Then, after I had gotten all excited about it, thinking finally the gods of The Company have smiled upon me, it turned out to be a hoax.

This was the fourth blow provided by The Company (although shoddy reporting by Variety’s Dave McNary may be more to blame for this one).

While checking up on all The Company’s projects, I found out they had successfully returned to the world of Fraggle Rock in the Hulu original Doozers. Unfortunately, to even say this show is “loosely based” on Fraggle Rock would be a stretch. The only similarity between the two shows is that they both have Doozers who construct buildings. Whereas Fraggle Rock is puppets singing about life lessons, Doozers is CGI singing about engineering. More educational? Perhaps in a STEM sort of way. More entertaining? I think not.

Consider this development the fifth and final upset from The Company.

You know what they say. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I’m not sure what they say about being fooled five times. Perhaps that I’m a loyal masochist.

So for all the hope and positive energy I try to exude in this blog, know that certain things to do with fantasy can disappoint.

I will say that despite all the let-downs, The Company has given me and other fans some silver linings. Last year’s Muppet Holiday Spectacular featuring Lady Gaga, Elton John, and RuPaul was absolutely magical considering those are three of my most favorite performers of all time.

Jim Henson’s Creature Shop Challenge also premiered on Syfy earlier this year, and as I do not have cable, I haven’t been able to watch the well-received reality series in which puppet-makers compete for the dream job with The Company. Consider it on my list of things to watch. Also, due to the publicity the Labyrinth 2 hoax received, it seems there might still be a chance for The Company to pursue such an endeavor.

Still, I’m not going to get my hopes up.

Don’t worry Jim Henson Co., “you’re still the one pool where I’d happily drown.”

I Like Unicorns

Okay, understatement of the year, I know.

But I mean, I really really like unicorns.

Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it.

Favorite animated movie: The Last Unicorn

I think I already said that in my introductory post.

Today, I made an appraisal of all of the unicorns in my apartment, and I wasn’t shocked by what I found. I have a lot of unicorn-themed stuff. Like a lot a lot.

I blame the recent popularity of all things unicorn-related. Unicorns are back in a big way. Celebrities like Lady Gaga and Taryn Manning are getting unicorn tattoos left and right. Unicorns are even on fashion runways!

Lady Gaga's infamous unicorn "Cutie Mark"

Lady Gaga’s infamous unicorn “Cutie Mark”

Taryn Manning, a.k.a. Pensatucky's unicorn arm tattoo.

Taryn Manning, a.k.a. Pensatucky’s unicorn arm tattoo.

Does this horn match my hooves?

Does this horn match my hooves?

Where was this trend when I was twelve years old and still clinging to my Lisa Frank unicorn school supplies? I know, I was super-cool.

Anyway, when unicorn paraphernalia was hard to come by, I used to buy whatever I saw with a unicorn on it. Usually that manifested itself in ceramic unicorns from thrift stores or the occasional XXL shirt from the children’s section of Target. Now, if I did that I would be broke and drowning in unicorns (even more so than I already am). Not to mention Chris would probably tell me to take all my unicorns and move back to Florida.

This is what it looks like to drown in unicorns.

Thank you, The Last Unicorn, for teaching me what it looks like to drown in unicorns.

Most of the unicorn stuff I have were gifts, but I’m guilty on all accounts of purchasing some of them myself.

Here’s a few of my unicorn things:

"And Vladimir collects cer-a-mic unicoooorns!"

“And Vladimir collects cer-a-mic unicoooorns!”

Acrylic on canvas board by the lovely Ashley Taylor.

Acrylic on canvas board by the lovely Ashley Taylor.

Chris must really love me,  because this is what we have hung over our bed.

Chris must really love me, because this is what we have hung over our bed.

Even my tape is touched by the magic of a unicorn.

Even my tape is touched by the magic of a unicorn.

Two unicorns guard my bearded dragon, Custard, like mini Oracles.

Two unicorns guard my bearded dragon, Custard, like mini Oracles.

Check out the 70's unicorn painting my friend Kelley gave me.

Check out the 70’s unicorn painting my friend Kelley gave me. Pretty sweet, huh?

Not pictured is an “Ask The Unicorn Button” that says marvelous phrases like, “Never stop believing. Miracles are everywhere!”  in a whimsically airy voice (great for a bleak office), a unicorn head “piggy” bank, a cute pair of salt and pepper shaker unicorns (Thanks, Mom & Nicole!), some crazy-high glitter unicorn heels, and several unicorn shirts.

Remember that scene from Dodgeball when Vince Vaughn’s character thinks he smells something good cooking in the main female protagonist’s home, but, to his horror, he finds it completely full of unicorn memorabilia? I don’t want to get to that point, but I will. I may need a unicorn intervention.

In conclusion, should any of my friends and family ask themselves what to get me for the holidays, just back away from the unicorns. Seriously, they have horns for a reason.

Fancifully Yours,

Jessica

P.s. -This post is about 24 hours late, because my creativity has been quite invested in NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month. It’s my first year participating! Wish me luck, because I’m already behind on my word count, and I’m going to need it! Post in the comments if you have any NaNoWriMo experiences or suggestions.

DIY Draco Malfoy Wand

Happy (Almost) Halloween, readers!

Fact: Halloween is my favorite holiday.

I’d credit the excellent movies that came out during my childhood. Anyone remember the Disney Channel Original Movie Halloweentown? How about Hocus Pocus? Am I right?

Anyway, I had a Halloween-themed costume party to go to last week, and I had the perfect costume for it: Harry Potter’s nemesis, Draco Malfoy! After all, I already have the short, bleach blonde hair for it. Some people even call me Malfoy on occasion (ya’ll know who you are).

Luckily, I found a child’s size extra large Slytherin robe for two bucks at Goodwill, and Chris was kind enough to lend me a green tie of his. I already had the white oxford shirt, gray vest, and black pants. I wore my black velvet creepers, because I think Draco would dig that sort of shoe.

Still, I was missing something.

What’s a wizard without his wand? I’d say one who is out of luck and likely to steal another wizard’s wand only to have that wand turn out faulty, causing him to cast a memory charm on himself. We couldn’t let that happen! (Remember how I said that I haven’t finished reading the entirety of the Harry Potter series, but that I was working on it? Well it’s true! I actually read all of Chamber of Secrets the same day as the party. It really helped me get into character. J.K. Rowling is a brilliant woman.)

I scoured local costume shops for a Draco wand, but they all only carried Harry’s wand. This wouldn’t do, because Harry and Draco’s wands look very different. Harry’s wand appears knotted and marled, while Draco’s is more sleek. I found Draco wands on the internet that ranged anywhere between four and fifty dollars, but I didn’t have enough time to wait on any of them to ship to my house, nor do I have the funds to pay overnight shipping.

So what’s a wand-less girl boy to do?

After a few hours of brainstorming and overcoming functional fixedness, I found my solution. You got it! I was going to DIY my very own Draco wand.

You can make this wand with household items. I actually already owned all of the craft supplies necessary for the project, and it is relatively quick to make.

So without further ado, I give you the DIY instructions for the costume/cosplay Draco Malfoy Wand:

You’ll Need:

One 14″ Wooden Spoon (Mine came as the largest in a four-pack from Family Dollar)

One Sharp Paring Knife

One Cutting Board

One Ruler or Measuring Tape

One Sanding Sponge or Sand Paper

One Small Paint Brush (preferably angled)

Brown Acrylic Paint (Burnt Umber works nicely)

A Black Sharpie or Pencil

Black Acrylic Paint

Newspaper or Dropcloth

An adult if you are under the age of 13

(Unicorn Hair optional for wand core)

Your Supplies (sharpie, ruler, and cutting board not pictured)

Your Supplies (sharpie, ruler, and cutting board not pictured)

How To:

1. Place your 14″ wooden spoon on the cutting board. Place your non-cutting hand on either end of the spoon firmly and make a ridge at the top of the spoon handle, where where the curvature of the spoon head starts (Draco’s wand is precisely 10″ long, so you can measure this; but if you’re using a 14″ spoon, I’ve already done it for you.) Rotating the spoon a few times, make the ridge all the way around the circumference of the spoon handle as deep as you can, being careful not to put too much pressure on the wood, or it’ll snap down the shaft of the spoon. If this happens, you can glue the piece back on with wood glue or super glue, but you may need to get another spoon if the damage is too great.

Steps 1 and 2

Steps 1 and 2, Beheading (ha!)

2. Completely separate the spoon handle from the spoon head by applying steady pressure with the knife. This step may be easier if you are using a sharper knife than my dollar store one. Discard/recycle the spoon head or save it for another project.

3. This is the trickiest but most important part! Firmly grasp the spoon handle and whittle one end of it with the paring knife starting about two inches from the end. Pretend you are sharpening a pencil the old-school Abe Lincoln way, except you don’t want to sharpen it to a point. We are making a wand, not a vampire stake. You want to achieve the same gradual curve all the way around, just like Draco’s wand. Try to make it as uniform around as possible. making sure to whittle away the opposite side of whatever side you were working on. Don’t cut away too much, or you’ll find your wand disappearing faster than you can say “expelliarumus”. Gradual is key. Really take your time on this part, but don’t worry about perfection. That’s for step 4.

Step 3

Step 3, Whittling

4. Again, firmly grasping the wand, put down your paring knife and grab your sanding sponge. Sand the end of the wand you just whittled until you achieve a smooth finish. You may sand the entirety of the wand. but focus on the end you whittled the most, as well as right underneath the whittled area. If after sanding you find that there is an area that could be whittled some more, then do, and sand again. Sand both ends of the wand until they are smooth.

Step 4 (notice the wood dust on the sanding sponge)

Step 4, Sanding (notice the wood dust on the sanding sponge)

5. Now it’s looking a lot more like a wand and a lot less like a spoon handle! Nice! This is the fun part: Wipe the wood dust off of your wand and take out your brown paint and paint most of the wand brown. I used a wet brush and started at the skinnier/whittled end to achieve a wood stain/ombre effect and make it look more like Hawthorn wood. There’s no need to paint the very bottom of the wand brown, because that’s where the black paint is going.

Step 5, Brown Paint

Step 5, Brown Paint

6. If you used acrylic paint, you won’t need to wait long at all to get out your black paint. First, hold your wand like Draco would, letting the base rest in the center of your palm. Note where the top of your index finger hits the wand (for me, this was around 3″), and make a mark with your black sharpie about 1/2″ up from that. You may use a pencil if you’re worried about making a mistake, but if you do, you can just paint over the mistake with brown acrylic paint. Starting at the mark, draw a line all the way around the wand until it meets. This is where the black paint will stop.

Step 6, Marking

Step 6, Marking

7. Paint the “grip” of your wand black up to the line you made, making sure to use plenty of paint to fill in the wood grain. Wait for the black paint to dry, and voila! Your very own Draco Malfoy costume wand.

Step 7, Black Paint

Step 7, Black Paint

This wand isn’t an exact replica, as I didn’t bother with the two ridges along the top of the grippy part of the wand, nor did I worry myself with the stylistic angles at the base of the wand. If this bothers you, I imagine you could take some extra time whittling these features into the wand. I’m not at that level of woodwork, but all the more power to ya. You could probably also use some type of air-dry black clay to make the nubbies, but I just didn’t feel like making the trip to the craft store and buying it.

 

Another option: You could pay for the collector’s replica here. I am not in any way affiliated with this seller.

Well, I hope you enjoyed my tutorial! Have fun waving your wands around pretending to hex people. I know I did.

If you found this tutorial helpful, then please let me know in the comments or share with your friends and family!

Until next week.

Fancifully Yours,

Jess

A Blog is Born

Hi everyone!

Welcome to my new (and first-ever) blog. I am so excited to have it up and running after a few weeks of dealing with the learning curve of web design (The date is actually October 19, 2014) . I think it looks pretty spiffy. Not bad for a first-timer, eh? If you have any suggestions for how to make my blog a little more functional and attractive, then please feel free to leave a comment. I’m learning, so please be kind 🙂

Anyway, I have wanted to start a blog for a long time now, maybe a couple of years or so. I just didn’t know what I would blog about. Politics was a suggestion, but I don’t believe I can speak as an authority on this topic. Plus, I think it would turn ugly pretty fast. I considered criminology, as that was my major in college. Still, I felt like after a while I would run out of things to talk about. I thought about writing about writing, as it is one of my hobbies, but I feel like there are so many blogs of this nature out there, and I wanted to give something new to the world.

Then, it came to me.

It’s my blog, so I’m going to discuss what I like, not just what makes sense (Because, let’s be honest, most things that make sense are pretty boring). Anyone who knows me well enough knows about my long-standing obsession with unicorns. It’s a thing, yeah. Blame Peter S. Beagle’s The Last Unicorn if you want to blame anything. I also geek out (in a major way) over George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series, along with the HBO show, of course. Additionally, I am in love with the works of Brian Froud, the conceptual artist behind Jim Henson’s The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth. All of these things make me incredibly happy.

So I thought to myself: What do they all have in common?

Well, the answer was simple enough: Fantasy.

I have had a life-long love affair with the fantasy genre, but I didn’t know it until just recently. What better subject to discuss on a blog than one I am totally enthralled with and yet somewhat inexperienced in? I say ‘inexperienced’, because I haven’t yet read important works such as Lord of the Rings or the entirety of the Harry Potter series. I know, I know, I’m working on it. I also don’t have a degree in this stuff, like some may have. But really it seems the fantasy genre is as old as time. Humans have always enjoyed telling stories that include spectacular adventures and mythical creatures. I could write about this stuff forever, and I hope you’ll enjoy reading about it from my point of view every now and then.

This blog is going to be a bit of a hybrid- in that it is going to include topics such as literature, film, music, food, events, travel, fashion, and beauty (Hey, I may even throw in a bit of D.I.Y.). Still, any post I make will have something to do with fantasy. I chose the name for the blog, Fanciful Quill, intentionally. I may delve into Science Fiction or Horror occasionally, because, to be honest, I was raised on Star Wars and Stephen King. Sorry, not sorry.

Mostly, I am interested in the human capacity for Imagination.

Take it from Spongebob.

Take it from Spongebob.

If this is something you are also interested in, then I suggest you check back often (Like once a week, because I’m not a machine).

Fancifully Yours,

Jess